All of Me
by jasonismyfreepass
Summary: A/H Liason fic. If you don't like the couple, go ahead and read, but don't complain to me if it doesn't turn out the way you want it :


I was watching some Liason mvids on Youtube…and this one particular one, just slayed me. 'My Immortal' is one of my favorite songs, and it has always reminded me of Liason. Anyway, lol, I thought I would try to write what was in my head. I hope you enjoy

This takes place before the Chinese food 'wedding'…and Jason is at home, alone, with a chance to think about his life and the women who have touched it over the years. I don't own the characters and I promise to put them back after I'm done playing with them

All of Me

Sept. 25,2011

It was finally quiet in the penthouse…the cast of characters that filled his life had finally gone away. Spinelli and Maxie to her apartment, Sam to her mother's house…the last confused him a bit. Molly had gone on and on about how a bride and groom shouldn't spend the night before the wedding together, or some other crap. He had learned a long time ago to block out the sound of her voice as she talked endlessly of the 'true love' that he and Sam shared.

He smirked a bit at that thought…he cared for Sam, maybe he loved her, he wasn't sure. It was a lukewarm love at best, nothing like he had felt for Elizabeth. His love for her was more than that. It was on-going, it would always be there. That fact had been brought home to him when he had been hurt and in a coma. He saw all the women he had loved in his life; all the good, all the bad. Robin. He had loved her as well as he knew how back then. Which wasn't a lot. Coming from that first accident, not knowing who he really was. She had taught him so much, and he was grateful for the friendship they had now, even though they had ended so badly. Carly. She had been sex, before he had known that sleeping with her while still with Robin had been wrong. Carly, his self-proclaimed 'best friend', who often dreamed of renewing whatever romantic relationship she thought they had had, even though she would tell anyone who asked that she didn't feel that way about him. He knew. Despite what many people thought, he wasn't the brain damaged borg of his reputation. Then there was Brenda. His first 'wife'. A marriage completely of convience, one made of necessity to keep them both out of jail. He hadn't cared for her, in fact if pressed he would say he hated her, but he had done it to protect her, and himself. His thoughts moved to Courtney. He had been married to her, his brother's ex-wife. Had started an affair with her when she had been married to A.J.. Not his finest moment, he thought. Reeling over the loss of Elizabeth, who had moved out when she had found out that he had kept a huge secret from her, he had rebounded to the next warm body. No one had ever told him that you didn't marry your rebound, so he had continued on with Courtney, went with the flow, did what he thought he was supposed to do. And it had ended in disaster. What could have been a friendship had imploded when they had pushed too far, too fast. His relationship with Sonny, her older brother, had also suffered, with Sonny accusing him of betrayal then of using his sister. He had been saddened to hear of her death a couple of years later, but it was more of a feeling of sorrow for the child she had died giving birth to, the family she had left behind.

His thoughts turned briefly again to Sam, the woman who he would be marrying in the morning. He wondered for a moment what she was up to, then wondered why he cared. Glancing over at the clock, he decided to turn on the expensive sound system Spinelli had set up and get out one of the travel books he had in the room. Purposely avoiding the one on Italy, he quickly found one about Nepal, and wondered if he would ever get the chance to visit there. He knew Sam wouldn't want to go, it would be too rustic, not fancy enough for her. For someone that prided herself on being tough and able to handle anything, she didn't do well without all the trappings of civilization surrounding her. He also knew what he was doing, avoiding thinking of the one woman who had the power to hurt him, the only person that could bring him to his knees with a glance.

Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Webber, the woman he had been in love with since the day they had been introduced at an old railroad boxcar by her then boyfriend, Lucky Spencer. The woman who was the mother of his only child, Jake. His thoughts shied away from the subject of Jake, his death still too painful to think about. He had missed out on his son's life because he had been scared of the danger his life would bring to his son and his mother, forgetting completely the randomness of fate and how life can be taken with the blink of an eye.

Shaking his head from the thoughts that started to swirl around in his head, he went down the stairs to get a beer from the kitchen, the sounds coming from the radio following him to the lower level of his penthouse. He grabbed one of his imported beers, finding it among the half empty Chinese food takeout containers and the orange soda that Spinelli drank like water. He shook his head at that, and wondered again how he had lost control of his life. When did he, the consummate loner, get a roommate. Especially one like Spinelli. He was a nice enough kid, he supposed, when he kept his mouth shut and didn't drone on endlessly about the 'Goddess' and the eternal bond he shared with Sam. He often wondered if Spinelli and Molly shared a brain, they sounded so much alike sometimes. He passed through the dining room again, wondering why the hell Maxie had thought that he would want to have his pool table replaced and he wondered why the hell he had let her do it. Just one more example of the loss of control in his life, he thought shaking his head.

Walking over to the floor to ceiling windows that took up the back wall of his penthouse, Jason stopped to look out over the city. He could see everything. The harbor and docks, the business district, the lake that his family and friends lived by in their large mansions. The hospital, where he knew Elizabeth was working at tonight. She probably had her other two boys in daycare. Cam and Aiden, the sons of his heart, the ones he would never claim. Then he heard it…the song that had reminded him of her, his Elizabeth, since the first time he had heard it while out with Sam at some bar in Hawaii.

He listened, tears forming in his eyes as the soulful words poured through the speakers and the singer sang the words he had always felt for her, the woman he knew he could never have. And he knew then that he couldn't marry Sam. Despite the promises, he knew that to marry her would be unfair. He wasn't hers, he was Elizabeth's. He always had been, always would be. It was a simple, and as complicated, as that. Jason knew that telling Sam they wouldn't be getting married would be hard. She would scream, rant and cry…but in the end, he knew it would be the best for her. She could move on to someone else. Someone who would give her the family she craved and the security she needed. Because it wouldn't be him. As the final notes of the song wound down, he gathered his nerve to go see Elizabeth. And then he heard the DJ speak…

"This message is for Jason. 'You always said I could change my mind. This is me, changing my mind. Jason…please open the door. Elizabeth.'"

Not wanting to believe what he had just heard, but desperately wanting it to be real, he ran for the door of the penthouse. Yanking the door almost off the hinges, his knees buckled as he took in the sight of the woman in front of him. Hair a tangled mess from the wind blustering outside, eyes red from crying, she was still the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

She smiled at him, eyes watery, and held out her hand…

"I've heard the light in Italy is different. I was hoping you could show it to me."

And Jason, forgetting everything else, took it…

"No bailing…"

**The End**

Lyrics for 'My Immortal' by Evanesence

"My Immortal

~ **Evanescence**

I'm so tired of being here  
>Suppressed by all my childish fears<br>And if you have to leave  
>I wish that you would just leave<br>'Cause your presence still lingers here  
>And it won't leave me alone<p>

These wounds won't seem to heal  
>This pain is just too real<br>There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]  
>When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears<br>When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
>I held your hand through all of these years<br>But you still have  
>All of me<p>

You used to captivate me  
>By your resonating light<br>Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
>Your face it haunts<br>My once pleasant dreams  
>Your voice it chased away<br>All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal  
>This pain is just too real<br>There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
>But though you're still with me<br>I've been alone all along"


End file.
